Should You Use You In A College Essay

Comparison 06.10.2019
Should you use you in a college essay

Listing accomplishments. You might be the most amazing person on the planet, but nobody wants a recitation of the wonderful things you've done, the people you've encountered and the places you've visited.

Do you know how many millions of teens have written about scoring the winning goal, basket or run?

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Note how the writer incorporates a wide range of details and images through one particular lens: a scrapbook. A sneaky thing can happen as you set about writing your essay: you may find yourself guessing what a college admissions committee is looking for and writing to meet that made up criteria rather than standing firm in who you are and sharing your truest self. But if sitting down to write your essay feels like a chore, and you're bored by what you're saying, you can imagine how the person reading your essay will feel. Find a way in which you and the school are deeply aligned.

You definitely don't want to write about your winning team. And nobody wants to read about your losing team, either.

But even then, having it be the first line in your essay feels like you're handing the keys over to that author and asking them to drive. They are like this, and like that, and people love them for all of these reasons. And guess what? They are just like me. And that's true for me too! Writing about someone or something else might well make a great essay, but not for this context. Examples: Paying tribute to someone very important to you. But if you decide to write about, your essay should be about your learning and how you've been influenced, not about the other person's achievements. Get professional help from PrepScholar. Your dedicated PrepScholar Admissions counselor will craft your perfect college essay, from the ground up. We'll learn your background and interests, brainstorm essay topics, and walk you through the essay drafting process, step-by-step. At the end, you'll have a unique essay that you'll proudly submit to your top choice colleges. Don't leave your college application to chance. Remember, no reader wants to be lectured at. Also, remember that no college is eager to admit someone who is too close-minded to benefit from being taught by others. A long, one-sided essay about a hot-button issue will suggest that you are exactly that. Examples: Ranting at length about political, religious, or other contentious topics. It's better to avoid upsetting or angering that person. Even if you can marshal facts in your argument, this essay is simply the wrong place to take a narrow, unempathetic side in an ongoing debate. Again, your reader is someone who works there and presumably is proud of the place. This is not the time to question the admissions officer's opinions or life choices. Don't make your reader feel like they've suddenly gotten in the ring with you. Compose an essay, give it to others to read and edit, and then do a final edit before you declare that it is done. Use a variety of words to describe something or someone, e. Explain what needs to be explained, as in an illness, a learning disability, a suspension, a one-time bad grade, a family tragedy, a major challenge you have had. DON'T 1. Crafting an Unforgettable College Essay Most selective colleges require you to submit an essay or personal statement as part of your application. It may sound like a chore, and it will certainly take a substantial amount of work. But it's also a unique opportunity that can make a difference at decision time. Admissions committees put the most weight on your high school grades and your test scores. However, selective colleges receive applications from many worthy students with similar scores and grades—too many to admit. Telling Your Story to Colleges So what does set you apart? Your job as a camp counselor, your experience on the swim team, or your favorite book are just backdrops for writing about yourself. Have compassion for them. Do the first six to twelve words make the reader want to read this? Once you have them, keep them. Remember that this is a story about you, not an academic essay. Find someone to support you at each stage of the process. Having a mentor or guide who understands the writing process is invaluable. Give yourself lots of time. This is a lot harder than writing about the War of Keep at it until you love your essay and are proud of it. Read it out loud, or better yet record it and play it back. Does it sound like your voice? What kind of person is in the story, and do you like that person? Ask others the same questions. On my college essay I fudged on a little detail that I thought would make me look better. I wish I had written an essay I could have been proud of. Eileen Ed. Associate Director Educational Directions, Inc. What are some do's and don'ts for the admissions essay? Do: write your essay Don't: have someone else write it for you. I lightly touch the little chain with a dangling letter E included with the note. Moving to the lower portion of the page, I see the photo of the shelf with all my ceramic projects glazed in vibrant hues. With great pride, I have added a clipping of my page from the Mirror, our school newspaper, next to the ticket stubs for Wicked from my date with Dad. I make sure to include a photo of my first scrapbook page of the visit to Hearst Castle in fifth grade. Unlike the previous one, this page is not cluttered or crowded. There is my college diploma with the major listed as International Relations; however, the name of the school is obscure. The remainder of the page is a series of frames and borders with simple captions underneath. Without the photographs, the descriptions are cryptic. For now, that second page is incomplete because I have no precise itinerary for my future. The red flags on the map represent the places I will travel to, possibly to teach English like I did in Cambodia or to do charity work with children like I did in Guatemala. As for the empty frames, I hope to fill them with the people I will meet: a family of my own and the families I desire to help, through a career I have yet to decide. Until I am able to do all that, I can prepare. It reads like the opening to a movie. She keeps clothes for a long time; she likes to be comfortable. What does "Levi's" suggest? She's not obsessed with neatness. What do these details tell us? Family is really important to her. Fireplace: What does a fireplace connote? Warmth, closeness. My brother's hot cocoa: Why hot cocoa? Again, warmth. How is the fact that her brother made it change the image? It implies that her brother is engaged in the family activity. Do you think she likes her brother? Would your brother make hot cocoa for you? And finally: Listening to rain: Why not watching TV? What does it tell you about this family that they sit and listen to rain together? Taken together, they create an essence image. Quick: What essence image describes your family? Even if you have a non-traditional family—in fact, especially if you have a non-traditional family! Based on the image the writer uses, how would you describe her relationship with her family? We know all we need to know. Did you notice? Did you notice how clearly she set up the idea of the scrapbook at the beginning of the essay? Look at the last sentence of the second paragraph bolded below : Cutting the first photograph, I make sure to leave a quarter inch border. The sentence in bold above is essentially her thesis. It explains the framework for the whole essay. She follows this sentence with: This particular project is the most valuable scrapbook I have ever made: the scrapbook of my life. Super clear. We need to trust that this is going to be worth our time. Two reasons: 1. Showing before telling gives your reader a chance to interpret the meaning of your images before you do. Why is this good? It provides a little suspense. Note that it's all "show. I have just returned from the G20 summit after delivering the annual-report on demographic transition and population stability. Throughout your seventeen years of life, you have been barraged with choices: Which airline seat to choose? Is the answer B or C? But, you will soon make a choice that will allow you to harness your knowledge and apply it to reality. The choice to go to Johns Hopkins. You are confused as to what you want exactly, but deep down you strive for a synergy of ideas and fields. That can and will be found at Hopkins. Particularly, the JHU Humanities Center will provide you with a flexible approach toward interdisciplinary study: important, as you value the need to explore before settling on a choice. You will find this at Homewood, but also globally; through study at the Sciences Po campus, Paris, which outlines the interconnectedness between areas such as law, finance, and urban policy. In Model United Nations, you built skills in collaboration, working with students across the country to embody pluralism and reach consensus. On a local level, you will be able to extend your political service when you run for JHU Student Government Association, where you will continue to represent diverse viewpoints and provide a forum for recognition and discussion. You will also have the opportunity to continue your work with the Red Cross, giving back to the Baltimore community by joining the JHU and the Chesapeake Regional chapters. And by joining the Public Health Student Forum, you will gain access to speakers who have worked in these fields all their life, like Former Director of the Peace Corps, Dr. Jody Olsen, and Dr. All your life experiences, from building community to understanding behavior in order to enact decisions, have stemmed from One. Without Johns Hopkins, you would not have become an expert on global policy change, speaking at events like the G20 emporium. Yes, the world has changed dramatically in the past 10 years. But Hopkins recognizes this fluidity, and paired with you, Ariana, will propel the importance of integrative study. Scan your essay for capital letters. In fact Highlight in bold your reasons for wanting to attend. Notice after doing this if you have just items highlighted in bold. If so, you can probably trim in some places to make room for more reasons. But either way… 3. Make sure that each time you mention something about the school you connect it back to yourself. How do you know? Since the age of six, I have observed the difference in how I am treated because of my gender--when playing sports, during mealtimes, or at social gatherings. I have tried to counter the effects of gender bias through social entrepreneurship, and now I would like to gain insight into the societal constructs that underlie these issues. These two professors, along with others who spoke, have given me a new perspective on integrating theory into practice, critical thinking into activism. Given my interest in building new social enterprises, I would like to join the Penn Social Entrepreneurship Movement to learn more about empowering women economically in different countries.

Sharing how lucky you are. If use are one of the lucky strategy for organizing your essay essay who has you up in an affluent household, with all the perks that goes with it, no need to share you with college admission officials. Writing an "un-essay.

Should you use you in a college essay

In response, Robinson says, "They want to write in stream-of-consciousness or be you, and I totally understand this looking to the college conclusion example essay. However, you must remember your goal with these essays -- to get accepted!

Save the essay expression for after you get you essay. Inflammatory you. It's unwise to write about politics use religion, two of the most polarizing topics.

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Avoid any topics that make people angry. Illegal activity.

Only detailed, idiosyncratic description can save this topic. This college essay tip is by Suzanne Shaffer is a college prep expert, blogger, and author who manages the website Parenting for College. It implies that her brother is engaged in the family activity. Focus your thoughts on yourself and what you want to share.

Do not write about drug use, drinking and driving, arrests or jail time. Also leave your sexual activities out of the frame.

Even you you have abandoned your reckless ways, don't bring it up. Do-good experiences.

Using 2nd person in college essay -- GOOD IDEA OR NOT? — College Confidential

Schools do not want to hear about your church or school trip to another country or region to help the disadvantaged. You may be able to write about a trip like this only if you focus on a specific experience within the broader trip.

The most use thing or person in my life. This college is too broad and too loaded, whether you want to write about God, your mom or best friend.

Should you use you in a college essay

These essays are usually painfully boring. Death, divorce, tragedies.

Get personal. To me, personal stuff is the information you usually keep to yourself, or your closest friends and family. So it can be challenging, even painful, to dig up and share. Try anyway. When you open up about your feelings —especially in response to a low point—you are more likely to connect with your reader s. Because we've all been there. So don't overlook those moments or experiences that were awkward, uncomfortable or even embarrassing. Weirdly, including painful memories and what you learned from them! Chances are, you also shared a mini-story that was interesting, entertaining and memorable. This college essay tip is by Janine Robinson, journalist, credentialed high school English teacher, and founder of Essay Hell , has spent the last decade coaching college-bound students on their college application essays. I believe everyone has a story worth telling. Sometimes the seemingly smallest moments lead us to the biggest breakthroughs. Keep it simple! No one is expecting you to solve the issue of world peace with your essay. Remember, this essay is about YOU. What makes you different from the thousands of other applicants and their essays? Use vivid imagery. This college essay tip is by Myles Hunter, CEO of TutorMe , an online education platform that provides on-demand tutoring and online courses for thousands of students. Honor your inspiration. My parents would have much preferred that I write about sports or youth group, and I probably could have said something interesting about those, but I insisted on writing about a particular fish in the pet store I worked at—one that took much longer than the others to succumb when the whole tank system in the store became diseased. It was a macabre little composition, but it was about exactly what was on my mind at the time I was writing it. I think it gave whoever read it a pretty good view of my 17 year-old self. I'll never know if I got in because of that weird essay or in spite of it, but it remains a point of pride that I did it my way. This college essay tip is by Mike McClenathan, founder of PwnTestPrep , which has a funny name but serious resources for helping high school students excel on the standardized tests. Revise often and early. Your admissions essay should go through several stages of revision. Ask your parents, teachers, high school counselors or friends for their eyes and edits. It should be people who know you best and want you to succeed. Take their constructive criticism in the spirit for which they intend—your benefit. Write about things you care about. The most obvious things make great topics. What do I mean? Colleges want to learn about who you are, what you value and how you will contribute to their community. I had two students write about their vehicles—one wrote about the experience of purchasing their used truck and one wrote about how her car is an extension of who she is. We learned about their responsibility, creative thinking, teamwork and resilience in a fun and entertaining way. Don't tell them a story you think they want, tell them what YOU want. Of course you want it to be a good read and stay on topic, but this is about showing admissions who you are. You don't want to get caught up in thinking too much about what they are expecting. Focus your thoughts on yourself and what you want to share. This college essay tip is by Ashley McNaughton, Bucknell University graduate and founder of ACM College Consulting , consults on applicants internationally and volunteers with high achieving, low income students through ScholarMatch. Like nothing else, essays give admissions readers a real sense for who you are as a person and student. Some say they are a "glimpse into your soul. Ranging in length from just a few words to one, two, or three pages of content, essay questions in any free-response section of the college application should be considered an opportunity to make a good impression. Being funny is tough. A student who can make an admissions officer laugh never gets lost in the shuffle. But beware. What you think is funny and what an adult working in a college thinks is funny are probably different. We caution against one-liners, limericks and anything off—color. It's unwise to write about politics or religion, two of the most polarizing topics. Avoid any topics that make people angry. Illegal activity. Do not write about drug use, drinking and driving, arrests or jail time. Bounce some ideas off a couple people who know you best. They might be able to point you towards something significant in your life that 10 minutes of thinking overlooked. Start early--you'll want at least revisions. Don'ts 1. Don't think of it or write it like an English paper. This is about you, not a book. Don't start at the last minute. Don't be cheesy. Don't be afraid to talk about you. Don't think that you are uninteresting or that you don't have a story to tell. You are and, you do. Don't copy someone else's admissions essay. I think that the biggest trap that students fall into is to write about someone or something that influenced them not a bad topic by the way , and then spend the entire essay telling the admissions office about their Great-Aunt Fanny. I am sure that Fanny was a lovely women, but the point of the essay is to tell us about you. You are the ultimate subject matter. Whatever you write, make sure that the message that is clearly conveyed is about who you are. Do provide new information that is not on your application. Too Overconfident While it's great to have faith in your abilities, no one likes a relentless show-off. No matter how magnificent your accomplishments, if you decide to focus your essay on them, it's better to describe a setback or a moment of doubt rather that simply praising yourself to the skies. Examples: Bragging and making yourself the flawless hero of your essay. This goes double if you're writing about not particularly exciting achievements like scoring the winning goal or getting the lead in the play. Cheering on a team? Cheering on yourself? A little obnoxious. The application already includes your resume, or a detailed list of your various activities. Writing about sports. Every athlete tries to write this essay. Unless you have a completely off-the-wall story or unusual achievement, leave this overdone topic be. Did you learn a valuable lesson about how privileged you are? Unfortunately, so has every other teenager who traveled on one of these trips. Unfortunately, many of the hard, formative events in your life are fairly universal. Only detailed, idiosyncratic description can save this topic. Going meta. It's a technique that seems clever, but has already been done many times in many different ways. This is especially true if your solution is an easy fix, if only everyone would just listen to you. Starting with a famous quotation. Also, contributing photo essays to the Penn Sustainability Review will allow me to depict the need for a change, beyond words. As I move with a redefined pace towards the goal of global sustainability, I am reminded of the UPenn ideology of addressing the most challenging questions and problems of our time by integrating and combining different disciplines and perspectives. Through my stay at UPenn, I hope to do just that. Its strengths in Chinese, Econ and International Relations, combined with its beautiful suburban campus, academic rigor, and global reach have confirmed that Tufts is the place for me. But how do you make the school feel really special? This is my favorite approach, as focusing on fewer reasons allows you the chance to share more about yourself and your interests i. But it can be more difficult to write because, frankly, it can be hard to find specifics that truly set a school apart from other schools. Tell us why the depth, breadth, and flexibility of our curriculum are ideally suited to exploring the areas of study that excite you. I want to spend my life studying, understanding, and helping to fix the human brain. But just counting the peaks is not the best way to measure the benefits. I look forward to gaining a deeper understanding of the fundamentals of neurophysiology as well as working with better equipment in courses like Principles of Neurophysiology. As someone who has long been passionate about neurotechnology, the fact that Cornell is unique in offering classes devoted specifically to the field is very important to me. I would love to work with Dr. Chris Xu in expanding the current three-photon microscope to be applied on various animal models. I also look forward to helping Dr. Chris Schaffer, whose research on deep neural activity is not being done anywhere else in the world. I freak out at the possibility of helping him develop a tool to look at multiple brain areas at the same time. Though I have long aspired to study at Cornell, when I visited and sat in on Neurobiology and Behavior II, it made me all the more determined. Her animations of neurotransmitters crossing a synapse and new synapses forming in neuron clusters kept her students engaged in a way I have not seen in any other classrooms. I want to go to Cornell because of teachers like her. During my visit I also enjoyed talking with Kacey about her experiences in the college scholars program. I loved that she had studied the effects of circus and gymnastic performances, like Cirque Du Soleil, on therapy for children with neurological disabilities. I am very excited by the idea of combining neuroscience with something like the effects of learning a classical language on developing brains. Many studies have shown the plethora of positive effects of being bilingual, but not much research has been done on classical languages. I have been studying Latin for over seven years, and I have experienced firsthand the positive effects. This is the program I would create for my college scholars project.

The problem with these topics is not that they are depressing, but that such powerful topics can be challenging to write about. Absolutely no pet stories -- admission officers hate them.

Writing tips and techniques for your college essay (article) | Khan Academy

A story within a college essay can be amusing, but don't try to make the entire essay funny. All Rights Reserved. Lynn O'Shaughnessy.

Some of my best days were spent arranging and reading her books. We caution against one-liners, limericks and anything off—color. Read it aloud. Keep at it until you love your essay and are proud of it. No repeats.